Puberty is a period marked not just by physical changes, but also by significant emotional shifts. "Navigating new feelings" refers to the emotional intensity, confusion, and self-discovery that preteens and teens experience as hormones begin to surge, relationships evolve, and self-awareness grows. These feelings can range from mood swings and increased sensitivity to new forms of attraction, anxiety, and even questions about identity.
Navigating New Feelings
What It Is
Why It Matters
Understanding and talking about these emotional shifts is crucial for helping children build emotional literacy, self-regulation, and resilience. When parents create space for these conversations, they help normalize emotional changes and reduce shame, confusion, or isolation. This kind of open dialogue is associated with better mental health outcomes and improved family communication.
Statistics to Know
- 1 in 5 adolescents ages 12–17 reported experiencing a major depressive episode in the past year.
- Hormonal changes during puberty increase susceptibility to stress and emotional dysregulation.
- Nearly 50% of parents report feeling unprepared to help their children manage emotional changes during puberty.
Age-Specific Guidance
Ages 9-12
Focus on validating feelings. Explain that it’s normal to feel more emotional or confused. Use simple terms: “Your brain is growing, and sometimes feelings get big.” Encourage them to name their emotions (e.g., “I feel sad/angry/excited”). Teach basic coping skills like taking deep breaths, listening to music, or talking to a trusted adult. Normalize that friendships might feel more intense or complicated.
Ages 13-18
Acknowledge the complexity of teen emotions, including romantic feelings, stress from school, and social pressures. Encourage open dialogue without judgment. Help them identify triggers for strong emotions and develop healthy coping strategies (exercise, hobbies, mindfulness). Discuss the importance of self-care (sleep, nutrition). If feelings of sadness or anxiety are persistent or overwhelming, suggest talking to a counselor or doctor.
Common Questions Parents Have
Q: “Why do I get so upset over small things?”
A: During puberty, hormones can make your emotions feel stronger and harder to control. It’s like your feelings are on a bit of a rollercoaster. It’s normal, and as you get older, it usually gets easier to manage these big feelings.
Q: “I feel attracted to someone for the first time. Is this normal?”
A: Yes, it’s very normal to start having romantic or sexual feelings for others during puberty. These are new and can be confusing, but they are a natural part of growing up.
Q: “What if I feel sad or anxious a lot?”
A: It’s okay to feel sad or anxious sometimes, especially with all the changes happening. But if these feelings are very strong, last for a long time, or get in the way of your daily life, it’s important to talk to a trusted adult, like a parent, teacher, or counselor. They can help you understand what’s going on and find support if you need it.