Puberty triggers not only physical changes but major emotional shifts. As hormones (like estrogen and testosterone) surge, children often experience stronger and more frequent emotions. Mood swings, irritability, anxiety about appearance or performance, and new interests in romantic relationships are common. These feelings are a normal part of adolescent brain development: the emotional centers of the brain mature earlier than the impulse-control centers, so young teens can feel emotions intensely6, 7. At the same time, teens develop more advanced thinking (abstract reasoning, moral thinking) but often still struggle to balance feelings and logic.
Emotional Changes
What It Is
Why It Matters
Emotional development affects teens’ self-esteem and relationships. Understanding mood swings helps parents and teens stay calm. Without guidance, intense emotions can lead to conflicts, anxiety, or depression. In fact, mental health conditions often start in adolescence. Around 14% of 10–19-year-olds globally have a diagnosable mental disorder8. By acknowledging that puberty emotions are real and temporary, families can support healthy coping. Parents who listen and empathize (rather than scold) give teens tools to manage feelings. Over time, most teens learn to regulate emotions as their brains mature6, 7. This period also lays the foundation for adult coping skills, so it is important to take emotional changes seriously.
Statistics to Know
- A major study found teen mood swings peak in early adolescence and typically stabilize laterNPR, 2015.
- Globally, roughly 1 in 7 adolescents experience a mental health disorder, making emotional health a leading concernWHO, 2024.
- In one survey (2019), 37.6% of high school girls and 39.2% of high school boys had ever had sexual intercourseCDC YRBS, 2019. This means many teens are dealing with sexual and romantic feelings in addition to typical moodiness.
- By 2015–2019, 77.3% of teen girls and 92.1% of teen boys used some form of contraception at first sexCDC NHSR, 2023 (data from 2015-2019), suggesting that even as teens face new emotions, many are taking steps to protect themselves (see Safe Sex section).
Age-Specific Guidance
Ages 9-12
Preteens may become more sensitive or irritable. Reassure them this is normal. Encourage them to talk about worries (about school, friends or body changes). Use simple language: say “your feelings might feel like a roller-coaster right now” and validate each feeling (happy, sad, angry are all okay). Teach basic coping: deep breaths, journaling, or talking to a trusted adult. Let them know friendships will feel more intense (best friends, early crushes) and help them navigate conflicts.
Ages 13-18
Teen emotions are more complex. They may experience crushes, first loves, or heartbreaks; confusion about identity; and stress from academics or social life. Keep communication open: check in often without judgment. Help teens label their emotions (“It sounds like you feel frustrated because…”). Remind them that feelings of anxiety or depression are common – as one expert notes, emotions are strongest in early teens and usually calm by late teens7. Encourage healthy outlets (sports, arts, social activities) and watch for signs of serious distress (persistent sadness, withdrawal). Prioritize sleep, exercise and nutrition, which greatly impact mood. Consider professional help if emotional changes seem extreme or unmanageable.
Common Questions Parents Have
Q: “My teen is so moody. Is this normal or something wrong?”
A: It’s very common. Many researchers note that young teens have more emotional volatility than older teens7. Explain that puberty hormones can make feelings feel bigger than before. Emphasize that most teens go through this and moodiness often eases with age. Encourage your teen to share what’s bothering them, and respond with empathy (for example, “I can see that made you upset”). You might say something like, “Your brain is growing right now, and it makes emotions run fast, but we’ll get through it together.”
Q: “How can I help my child handle stress or anxiety during puberty?”
A: Validate their feelings first (“I know this test/friend thing is stressing you out”) and avoid dismissing them. Teach simple coping skills: deep breathing, physical activity (even a walk helps), or creative outlets like drawing or music. Model calm problem-solving (talk through issues step-by-step). Maintain routines (good sleep, meals) – teens often de-prioritize these when stressed. If worry or sadness seem intense or long-lasting, consider talking to a school counselor or doctor; anxiety and depression often first appear in these years.
Q: “My child seems withdrawn. Could it be depression instead of just mood swings?”
A: It could be either. Mention that serious depression affects about 1 in 7 teens globally8. If your teen loses interest in things they used to enjoy, seems hopeless, or talks about harming themselves, those are warning signs that go beyond normal moodiness. In that case, talk to a pediatrician or mental health professional. Early treatment for depression or anxiety can make a big difference. Reassure your teen that help is available and you support them unconditionally.
Q: “How do I explain the difference between ‘normal feelings’ and ‘bad behavior’?”
A: Let your child know that all feelings (anger, sadness, excitement, embarrassment) are normal. The important part is how we act on them. Teach them simple “pause and think” rules: if they feel like yelling or hitting, pause and breathe first. Encourage them to tell you (“I’m feeling really angry!”) instead of lashing out. Praise them when they handle emotions well. Over time, teens learn better impulse control as their brains develop6. This helps them see that feeling angry isn’t “bad,” but shouting at a friend isn’t okay.
Recommended Resources
- The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Lisa Damour, PhD - An insightful guide for parents to understand and support teenagers' emotional lives.
- Celebrate Your Body (and Its Changes, Too!): The Ultimate Puberty Book for Girls by Sonya Renee Taylor - A body-positive puberty guide for young girls.
- Child Mind Institute - Emotions - Articles and resources on understanding and managing emotions in children and teens.
- KidsHealth - Your Emotions - Information for teens about understanding and dealing with emotions.