“Safe sex” means taking steps during sexual activity to prevent unintended pregnancy and protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). This usually involves using contraception (like condoms, birth control pills, IUDs, etc.) consistently and correctly. For STI prevention, the most effective method is the condom (male or female). Other methods (pills, implants, rings) prevent pregnancy but not infections, so combining condoms with another method is safest. It also includes being educated (knowing how methods work) and respecting consent and boundaries.
Safe Sex
What It Is
Why It Matters
Safe sex is essential for health and future planning. The U.S. teen birth rate has fallen dramatically (down 78% since 1991)CDC, 2023, but it is still higher than in many other countriesCDC. In 2022, the birth rate for ages 15–19 was 13.6 births per 1,000 femalesCDC, 2022 data. Many of these pregnancies are unintended. Likewise, STIs are very common among youth: adolescents (ages 15–24) account for about 50% of all new STIsCDC, 2022 data. For example, roughly 1 in 4 sexually active teenage girls has an STICDC, 2017. This shows why condoms are crucial: they protect against STIs like chlamydia, HPV, herpes and HIV, in addition to pregnancy. Proper contraception use allows teens to delay childbearing until they are ready. For these reasons, medical experts (e.g., ACOG) emphasize teaching teens about the most effective contraceptive methods firstACOG, 2018 and encourage dual protection (condom plus another method).
Statistics to Know
- Declining teen births: The U.S. birth rate for ages 15–19 reached a record low (14.4 per 1,000) in 2021CDC, Provisional Data 2021, but it remains above rates in other developed nations.
- Contraceptive use: In a national survey, 77.3% of teen girls and 92.1% of teen boys used contraception the first time they had sexAAP, Pediatrics in Review, 2025. Condoms were the most common method for both.
- STI risk: Youth aged 15–24 account for about 50% of new STIs each yearCDC, 2022 data. For example, CDC data show that 1 in 4 teenage females has at least one STICDC, 2017, underscoring the importance of condoms.
- Condom effectiveness: When used correctly, condoms are very effective (98% with perfect use), but typical use brings effectiveness to about 85%. This is still far better than no protection.
Age-Specific Guidance
Ages 13-15
Many in this group are not sexually active yet. Focus on information: explain that sex is a normal future possibility, but they don’t have to rush. Emphasize that abstinence is the only 100% effective way to avoid pregnancy/STIs. If they have questions about sex or are in early relationships, introduce condoms and birth control pills in general terms. For example, say “Some teens start using condoms once they begin having sex to stay safe.” Encourage open communication: let them know they can come to you or a doctor anytime. Discuss consent and that “no pressure” means sex should only happen when they both agree.
Ages 16-18
Teens at this stage may be more likely to have sex or be close to that decision. Discuss specific methods: explain how condoms, birth control pills, patches, rings, injections or LARC (IUD, implant) work. Use ACOG’s advice: present the most effective methods first19 (LARCs can be safe for teens). Stress condom use at every encounter, even with other birth control (to prevent STIs). Encourage visiting a health clinic or doctor for confidential advice – in most states, minors can receive contraceptive services without parental permission. Teach them about correct condom use (unrolling on an erect penis before any genital contact, leaving space at tip, checking expiry date) and about the morning-after pill as a backup (see Emergency Contraception). Remind them that if they’ve missed pills or had condom failure, options exist to prevent pregnancy (again, EC or future planning). Promote regular STI testing if they are sexually active.
Privacy and Respect: Across all ages, emphasize that decisions about sex and contraception belong to the individual. Adolescents have legal rights to confidential sexual health services in many areas. Encourage teens to ask questions to healthcare providers privately. ACOG advises that no teen should be forced into any method – it should be their choice20.
Common Questions Parents Have
Q: “Should I use condoms if I’m on the birth control pill?”
A: Yes. Birth control pills (and similar methods) prevent pregnancy very well, but only condoms prevent sexually transmitted infections18, 21. If you and your partner are not in a long-term, monogamous relationship with known STI status, always use a condom in addition to the pill. Think of it as an extra shield: condom = STI protection, pill/implant = pregnancy protection.
Q: “Can I get pregnant if we only had sex once or didn’t ejaculate?”
A: Yes. Pregnancy can occur even with a single act of unprotected intercourse if it happens near ovulation. It’s also possible (though less likely) from pre-ejaculate fluid (“pre-cum”). Never assume “one time” is safe. If you had any unprotected sex, consider emergency contraception (as discussed below) and get tested for pregnancy or infection.
Q: “Is withdrawal (‘pulling out’) a reliable method?”
A: No. “Pulling out” is much less effective than condoms. Men release fluid before climax (pre-ejaculate) that can contain sperm22. This makes it possible to get pregnant even if he pulls out. Because of this, healthcare providers do not recommend it as a primary method. Always use a condom instead of relying on withdrawal.
Q: “How do I know my partner is “clean” (no STIs)?”
A: You can’t tell by looking. Many STIs have no obvious symptoms23. The only way to be sure is to get tested together. Until both have recent negative test results, using condoms is the safest choice. Encourage your partner to get tested at a clinic. This is a normal and responsible step in any sexual relationship.
Q: “Will I gain weight or become infertile from birth control?”
A: Most common birth control methods do not cause long-term weight gain or infertility. Modern birth control pills have very low hormone doses, so weight changes are usually temporary (water retention)24. Fertility returns quickly after stopping birth control25. In fact, stopping most methods means you can get pregnant right away (except the contraceptive shot, which may take months to wear off). If you have concerns, talk to a doctor who can explain the facts for each method.